The world has never felt more divisive. There are wars going on in many countries. There is political unrest and divide at home and abroad. There is a very clear dichotomy that appears to be to be present for many people. Even myself, sitting at my table while writing this post. I am grateful that I have the safety and freedom to be able to do this, and at the same time I feel stress, anxiety and fear about the state of the world. These mixed emotions exist at the same time.
Gratitude is one of the basic facets of positive psychology. Research states that those that practice gratitude on a regular basis experience more happiness, better health outcomes and overall more success. But when things have been going wrong and the world has been
The dichotomy or plurality of truth is a concept in psychology that we often forget with the all or nothing thinking that comes with feeling anxious or stressed out. When acknowledging the plurality of truth, thoughts move from “Either/or” to “Both/and”. This allows for more than one viewpoint to be possible. For instance, it is possible to feel stuck at home (i.e. during the pandemic) and antsy, WHILE ALSO feeling grateful for the opportunity to slow down, spend time with kids, enjoy hobbies (old and new), catch up on domestic to do lists etc. Furthermore it’s possible to be BOTH grateful for the time at home with your children, AND also be desperately looking forward to having a break. It’s not all positive OR negative emotions, it’s about accepting and acknowledging both. We often get stuck in this or that style of thinking, but thoughts don’t work that way.
When acknowledging the two (or more) realities that are being endured I encourage you to appreciate the negative, acknowledge it, and then focus on the positive. This takes work, especially for those that have been in negative “thinking traps” (aka habits) for a long time. It takes a lot of effort for some to try to let go of the pieces of life that typically feel well controlled. It takes practice to move from negative to positive. And it is small steps that get us there, not giant leaps. This is where strategies like deep breathing and gratitude can help to change mood.
There is no better time to start a gratitude practice than now. Sometimes, I too need the reminder that there is beauty in the chaos. It’s a simple as 3 minutes (or less) a day. Before bed at night, write down or say audibly 3 things you are grateful for. It can be as simple as a warm cup of coffee (or even just a warm sip, if you got caught up in something and forgot about the rest… or is that just me?), being thankful for the pillow that lays under your head and provides comfort, being able to feel the sun on your skin while you went for a walk etc. It is possible to be grateful that you didn’t stub your toe on the bedpost, or lost your cool on your spouse or children for a day…heck on a particularly rough day, you can be grateful you got through it and it’s now over… you get the drift. Gratitude is not so much about WHAT you are grateful for, but rather is about focusing on the process of learning to scan our day of things that bring us joy and gratitude. It teaches the brain to do this so that over time, it becomes automatic. Do that daily and bam… you are practicing gratitude.
A gratitude practice creates a neurological shift in the brain. When we start or end the day with a positive reflection on things we are grateful for, we are more likely to see things that we are grateful for and appreciate throughout the day. This shift does not happen over night. It takes a period of practice, just like it does to build any habit. So if you’ve been in a negative space for a long time, don’t be discouraged if you try this and it isn’t successful immediately. A brain’s neurological pathways when repeated over and over become stronger and stronger, which means it takes longer to create new ones and replace those old ones. The good news is, change is possible, and happens all the time. It’s happening right now, while you read this post. And with that I will end with a message of thanks. Thanks for reading these posts, thanks for caring about yourself and those around you. Thanks for acknowledging the bad days and still getting up for the ones that follow. You’re the reason I write, and practice, and do all this. I am very grateful for you.
Take good care,
Jen
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