In the New Year a lot of people set new goals and resolutions for themselves. In fact, as a clinician I highly encourage goal setting, anytime of year. The New Year often brings with it a fresh energy and new beginning which makes it a great time for people to start. So what do we do when we want to tackle lofty goals but we feel completely stuck?
Being stuck or moving more slowly than we desire can be frustrating. I appreciate the feeling. I often feel torn between wanting to pursue more lofty goals, and feeling fatigued and at times, borderline burnt out. I often have to ask myself am I just lazy or am I really tired?
If this sounds like you I want you to think of the following metaphor. Imagine a butterfly. Well first, imagine a caterpillar. They go through life and when they are ready for a big change, they build and move into their cocoon (or Pupa as my children have corrected me on). From the outside looking in, it is still. It looks like nothing is happening. But then, one day, the cocoon pupa starts to shake and rip and out comes a beautiful butterfly, ready to fly away and start a new chapter in it’s journey. Sometimes our “slow periods” (the times where we feel stuck and/or exhausted) are really times that we are preparing for a change. Maybe it is preparing for a mindset shift. Maybe we need some physical and emotional rest before we move forward. We are not stuck, but rather are in a period of transition.
This perspective shift follows the facet of positive psychology that speaks about the power of perspective and the importance of language. If we talk down to ourselves and say we are stuck, we will remain there. It sounds permanent and uncomfortable. If we mention that we are in a period of rest and transition, the energy shifts. There is a sense that this is not only temporary, it is necessary for further growth and development.
Try this perspective shift for yourself when working towards a goal and feeling stuck on it. Stop focusing on the end result. Focus on what you need in the moment. Maybe you can take a micro step. Maybe you need a day or two of nothing. Remind yourself that this season is temporary and give yourself the space to rest. Make a plan that includes rest and then start to move forward again… One step at a time.
You got this,
Jen