Starting therapy can feel scary or overwhelming. A client may want to understand and make sense of events or patterns that have been keeping them in a place they no longer wish to be in their life. It is the start of an incredible journey of learning, self exploration and development. Why then, do I say, healing hurts?
Healing Hurts Because…
We hurt when we heal because we are removing the shield that we’ve developed to protect us for so long. We work to recognize our patterns, habits, filters in which we see the world and work to unlearn them. We begin to develop goals in line with how we WANT to live. In order to develop healthy habits, we sometimes need to process why and accept what we have been working hard to avoid throughout our life. We cannot do this unless we are prepared to get very honest with ourselves, and accept all the layers of emotions, even the painful ones. Our shield kept us safe from harm, but more often than not, it also prevented us from being able to experience joy, love, happiness and peace at a deep level.
Embrace the Mess
When on the therapy journey it is important to recognize that not every session will leave a client feeling lighter and more put together. Think of cleaning out your closet. First you have to empty all the contents and then you can organize and re-arrange. Have you ever looked at the room when you’ve taken all the contents of your closet and laid them out? If it’s anything like mine, it looks like a tornado ripped through the room. But as you start to put it back together you can make conscious decisions about where to put things, what to keep, what to give away, what to toss, it comes together. In the end the space is decluttered, and easier to navigate. Some see therapy as a similar process for the mind and body.
So although healing can hurt, it does not hurt forever. It is meant to be uncomfortable because that means the brain is learning something new. When new neurons fire together, they create new pathways. It may feel uncomfortable and foreign, and it should. That is learning. Instead of fearing or avoiding the discomfort, reminding oneself that the pain is there to teach us something can be helpful. The power of perspective is immensely helpful in the creating happiness and healing in our lives.
Whether you’re thinking about starting a therapy journey or looking to deepen your healing, don’t forget to give yourself compassion and grace. It’s about progress, not perfection!
Until next time,
Jen