Happiness as Habit

Positive Psychologist have studied how to be the happiest version of ourselves. They have found that those that focus on the effort, rather than just the output not only achieve goals faster and more often, they are happier in the process.

Our society has trained the majority of us to focus on goal attainment. If I had a nickel for every time I heard “I’ll be happy when…” I think I could retire. Whether it is graduating from school, landing the dream job, buying a house, getting a partner, having kids etc. It does not matter what it is, people always focus on happiness as a future state to be obtained through the successful attainment of goals. This is incorrect.

Happiness is a state of being. It is the experience of contentment, joy, fulfilment and satisfaction. It is possible to retrain our brains to become satisfied with our lives as they currently are, increasing happiness. We know that when people are generally happier, they are also more likely to achieve goals. Coincidence? No. Not at all.

How to Increase Happiness Levels

Doing any or all of the following things consistently will increase levels of happiness over time. Remember, habits need time to form. The more a skill/activity is practiced, the better we get at it. In the brain, neurons that fire together, wire together.

• Gratitude Practice – Name/Write down three things you are grateful for from each day
• Act of Kindness – Holding the door for someone, a kind smile, a good morning, or a simple a compliment can go a long way to boost mood not just for the recipient but the person that initiates the act. This can also include positive self talk.
• Movement -Exercise like aerobic exercise, yoga, walking, stretching, weight training, a dance party in the kitchen… Move your body anyway that feels good-
• Meditation and Mindfulness – A skill that takes time and practice. Meditation allows us to be in the moment, utilize the sense and show appreciation for ourselves and the world we have created
• Building Our Social Network- It takes a village; and sometimes we have to build our own.
• Follow the Path of Least Resistance – Change is hard, so do it in steps and make the changes small and incremental. If you’re going to start exercising, maybe you start with 5 minutes. If you’re going to begin a meditation practice, start with one minute before bed of mindful breathing. Don’t over complicate things.
• FOCUS ON THE EFFORT AND NOT THE OUTPUT – the Star of the show for the purpose of today is to focus on the effort. It isn’t about how WELL you do something, it’s about celebrating that you’ve tried. A marathon runner is not a marathon runner because they finished the race. They are a marathon runner the moment they STARTED the race.

When we set goals for ourselves and begin to work towards them it’s easy to get fixated on the end result. I often encourage people (myself included) to take a pause and ZOOM OUT. Notice what was learned, accomplished or noticed even if a goal was not achieved in it’s entirety.

Try any of these strategies for a minimum of 3 weeks and note any changes. You got this!

Jen