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A New Way to Treat Trauma

Accelerated Resolution Therapy

What if there was a way to reduce flooding, overwhelming emotions, intrusive thoughts to move on from past hurts and blocks in your life. Now imagine it works in as little as one session. Accelerated Resolution Therapy is a new and innovative form of psychotherapy that uses bi-lateral eye movements to help clients quickly process traumatic experiences and other distressing symptoms. The creator, Laney Rozenweig is a licensed therapist and social worker from the USA who developed this therapy for use to treat PTSD in the early 2000’s.

How ART Works

Similar to EMDR, Accelerated Resolution Therapy uses bi-lateral eye movements (similar to the type of eye movements that happen during the REM cycle of sleep) combined with guided imagery and some components of cognitive behavioral therapy to help clients quickly move past their negative and/or overwhelming symptoms and sensations to feel relief and hope.

One of the most incredible parts of this therapy is that it is fast. Clients notice a change in their symptoms in just a few sessions. Many clients state that they notice improvement after one session.

What to Expect with ART

ART sessions are typically 80 minutes in length. During an ART session, the therapist helps the client identify the specific memories or images causing distress that they wish to process. The client is then guided to hold those images in mind while simultaneously focusing on bilateral eye movements. This bilateral stimulation is thought to facilitate the processing of traumatic memories, making them less distressing over time. The therapist then helps the client to use guided imagery techniques to change negative images and create more positive ones in their place.

Who can BENEFIT from ART?

ART can be helpful for both adults and children. ART is known for its potential to achieve rapid results compared to traditional talk therapies. It aims to reduce symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and other trauma-related conditions. Many people find that they experience significant relief from symptoms after just a few sessions. Individuals living with PTSD, anxiety, phobias, complicated grief, depression and more can potentially benefit from ART. To learn more about ART book a free 15 minute consultation with our ART certified therapist here.

Can Any Therapist provide ART?

Therapists who practice ART must first complete specialized training and certification. This allows the clinician to practice specific techniques and learn the different protocols and their appropriate uses.

Research

ART is in it’s infancy in comparison to other forms of psychotherapy. It is evidence based and research continues to be done to prove it’s efficacy. Therapists, such as Jennifer Nunes are Nourished Soul Therapy, continue to report promising results in clients. Clients are encouraged to speak to their therapist about whether or not ART might be right for them.

Power of Play

Play is an internally motivated action or activity that cultivates joy, pleasure and fun. When children play it is often an opportunity for exploration, creativity and learning. Often play is associated with children. The concept of play is typically associated with children. Truthfully play is a healthy part of our development. In positive psychology, play helps to increase levels of joy, selfcare and love across the life course. Today’s blog is about the power of play in the development of a healthy mindset and how to add a little more play into your life.

Tapping into play within our adult lives allows the brain to make connections, harness creativity, release feel good hormones like dopamine and endorphins. It encourages connection and can energize. Physical play (like sport or physical games that involve movement) provide the same feel good hormones as exercise and can improve our mood and physical health.

Tips to Increase Playfulness

Try something New! Make a small change to your routine
Allow yourself time to be creative, daydream, and mindfulness
Surround yourself with playful people
Focus on the moment, try not to have a goal with play (Just enjoy)
Laugh as often as possible
Stop taking yourself so seriously
Change thought of play from “I have” to “I get” to engage in play

As adults we need to retrain our brains to learn to incorporate play in our daily lives. It can also be helpful in getting through difficult tasks that need to get done. Being able to smile and laugh at ourselves can build coping skills to help us manage through difficulty. Play is about building brain maps that help us develop a positive mindset and harness creativity. This can help us overcome challenge and increase happiness in our lives.

Have fun,

Jen

Happiness as Habit

Positive Psychologist have studied how to be the happiest version of ourselves. They have found that those that focus on the effort, rather than just the output not only achieve goals faster and more often, they are happier in the process.

Our society has trained the majority of us to focus on goal attainment. If I had a nickel for every time I heard “I’ll be happy when…” I think I could retire. Whether it is graduating from school, landing the dream job, buying a house, getting a partner, having kids etc. It does not matter what it is, people always focus on happiness as a future state to be obtained through the successful attainment of goals. This is incorrect.

Happiness is a state of being. It is the experience of contentment, joy, fulfilment and satisfaction. It is possible to retrain our brains to become satisfied with our lives as they currently are, increasing happiness. We know that when people are generally happier, they are also more likely to achieve goals. Coincidence? No. Not at all.

How to Increase Happiness Levels

Doing any or all of the following things consistently will increase levels of happiness over time. Remember, habits need time to form. The more a skill/activity is practiced, the better we get at it. In the brain, neurons that fire together, wire together.

Gratitude Practice – Name/Write down three things you are grateful for from each day
Act of Kindness – Holding the door for someone, a kind smile, a good morning, or a simple a compliment can go a long way to boost mood not just for the recipient but the person that initiates the act. This can also include positive self talk.
Movement -Exercise like aerobic exercise, yoga, walking, stretching, weight training, a dance party in the kitchen… Move your body anyway that feels good-
Meditation and Mindfulness – A skill that takes time and practice. Meditation allows us to be in the moment, utilize the sense and show appreciation for ourselves and the world we have created
Building Our Social Network- It takes a village; and sometimes we have to build our own.
Follow the Path of Least Resistance – Change is hard, so do it in steps and make the changes small and incremental. If you’re going to start exercising, maybe you start with 5 minutes. If you’re going to begin a meditation practice, start with one minute before bed of mindful breathing. Don’t over complicate things.
FOCUS ON THE EFFORT AND NOT THE OUTPUT – the Star of the show for the purpose of today is to focus on the effort. It isn’t about how WELL you do something, it’s about celebrating that you’ve tried. A marathon runner is not a marathon runner because they finished the race. They are a marathon runner the moment they STARTED the race.

When we set goals for ourselves and begin to work towards them it’s easy to get fixated on the end result. I often encourage people (myself included) to take a pause and ZOOM OUT. Notice what was learned, accomplished or noticed even if a goal was not achieved in it’s entirety.

Try any of these strategies for a minimum of 3 weeks and note any changes. You got this!

Jen

Toxic Positivity

Toxic Positivity is something that I have been dealing with my entire life. Toxic positivity is regarded as the belief that any negative thoughts about anything is to be avoided. I grew up alongside a generation of folks who were taught that emotions like anger and sadness are things to be avoided. They were negative, uncomfortable and for many, scary. We were taught to “focus” on the positive, even in light of challenge or tragedy. It overlooks and at times ignores true emotions and acceptance, which can actually delay processing and healing. It was not until my education, professional and personal experience in adulthood that I realized the meaning and danger of toxic positivity.

As I write in my book, Making it to Monday, there were times when life got dark. It was difficult and scary and there were a lot of unknowns. It is because of that darkness, that I am able to appreciate light in ways I never thought possible. This is part of the value and importance of accepting what is, even the uncomfortable and negative, to give ourselves space to feel it all.

Plurality of Emotions

I want to be clear, I am an optimist at heart. It is possible to be a realist and optimist together. In order to do this I encourage people to draw on the duality or plurality of truth. Many different things, experiences, and emotions can be true at the same time. We can feel grief for something lost, and gratitude for the learning we received from that loss. We can feel excited about a new opportunity and also scared that it won’t work out. It does not have to be ALL positive or ALL negative. In fact, it is helpful to start thinking of emotions are neutral. There are no bad or good emotions. They are all valid and important.

When we give ourselves space to feel the emotions, we validate our experience and create openness to move forward, heal and accept what is. It isn’t always easy to do this as it requires learning new strategies and unlearning old habits that are deeply ingrained in us. A trained therapist can help you build a tool box of strategies to get you started to lean into the emotions in life and begin healing at a deeper level.

Wishing you the very best, always.

Jen

Turning your Pain into Power

In clinical therapy I often work with clients who are wanting to process and heal from painful experiences. They sometimes describe themselves as ill, broken, hurt, and/or weak. The post traumatic stress symptoms and anxiety has changed the way they seem themselves. The pain they have experienced often described as a heavy burden they carry. What if that heavy burden could be turned into a superpower? Hear me out.

When we have a difficult or painful experience in life it often stays with us. We remember it, how we felt about it and how it impacted our life.

Now I want you to think about a time in your life when you learned the most about yourself. A time when you realized our strength and resilience more than any other time. Take a moment and reflect. Was it when things were easy and going well? Or was it when things are hard? People generally recognize their strength and resilience when they go through something challenging. The experience of pain is an important one. It allows us to appreciate the joy and hope that we often take for granted when things go well.

There is no better classroom than a crisis and no better teacher than trauma. If we are ready to learn from it. The lessons are there. Whenever we feel discomfort or challenge, our brains naturally want to hide from it and revert to what is familiar, even if it is maladaptive. This is a mindset.

It is possible to change our mindset to recognize the discomfort for what it is, learning. When we recognize that challenge is an opportunity for us to learn something about ourselves and the world around us, it becomes less fear mongering.

Learning to appreciate challenge for the learning it brings takes time. It does not happen overnight and often it takes intentionally effort, learned strategies and tools. This can be done through therapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, accelerated resolution therapy and many others that teach us to better understand out thoughts and experiences and to tolerate distress in healthy ways.

One tip: At the end of each day, remind yourself what you are grateful /proud of yourself for. Start doing this daily and remind yourself that you have already made it through 100% of the worst days of your life. You can get through this too. We’re here to help.

Language and Mindset

Our brains are built of millions of maps. What our brain hears, it will believe, even if it is not true. This is why language has a direct impact on mindset. Neurons wire and fuse together when we have experiences and the more frequent and repetitive those experiences, are, the stronger those connections in the brain get. This is the same when it hears a message. Language is so powerful because it creates a pattern of thought in our mind which is used for different areas in our life. It creates a filter for how we hear and interpret the world around us. It has a direct impact on our mindset.

So often people forget about the power language has on our relationship with ourselves and the world around us. What our brain hears, it will believe.

Think about how you talk to yourself. Do you use words like NEVER and ALWAYS? This type of all or nothing thinking can keep us stuck in the same maladaptive patterns. It also tells our brain that we are unable to change. It can negatively impact self-esteem and lower our mental health.

Tip: Try adding YET to the end of a sentence. This changes the energy and adds the optimism that we can change and achieve something we want.

Example: I’m never going to have enough money for a vacation. à I don’t have enough money for a vacation yet.

Photo describing the power of language and the word yet.

Sure, you cannot book your ticket to Aruba today, but the second sentence offers the hope that ONE DAY you might. This changes the way the brain things from being stuck to having opportunity to change.

Try doing the same with self talk. DO you often pick out your mistakes and criticize yourself? Can you be compassionate and show yourself some love instead?

Give it a try and remember, old habits die hard. If you catch negative self-talk. It is OK to forgive it and let it go.

Take good care,

Jen

Starting Therapy

First of all, congratulations! If you’re reading this post, you are likely thinking about starting your therapy journey. The first step is usually the hardest. And here you are.

Photo of individual therapy session by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy you may be feeling a bit overwhelmed on where to start. This post is a few tips on things to consider when starting your therapy journey.

Utilize the free consultations (if offered). Most therapists offer a free consultation for about 15 minutes. This is a great opportunity to ask questions, get a sense of how the therapist communicates and see if their style is a good fit for your needs. Therapy is not a one size fits all experience, and not every therapist will be your cup of tea. A good therapist knows that the fit between therapist and client is just as (if not more) important than the type of therapy when it comes to positive outcomes. It’s OK to speak to a few before making a decision.
Think about why you are starting therapy now. What are you hoping to learn or change? Are you hoping to start feeling better and change old patterns? Don’t worry if you don’t know this answer when you start. Your therapist can help you figure it out.
It’s OK to feel nervous. If you’re starting to work with a new therapist, or starting therapy for the first time it’s OK to feel nervous. Remember, the first session is really about getting to know each other, getting to know the presenting issues and helps the therapist begin to formulate an assessment which helps to make a treatment plan.
Consider what type of therapy you’re looking for. Virtual, In-Person, Eco-Therapy are all options that some therapists may provide. Each have benefits and drawbacks. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Therapy is a combination of working with someone you feel comfortable enough to be made uncomfortable. (May have to read that twice). Therapy allows clients to get very honest with themself, become more self aware and make changes that positive impact their wellbeing and life. If a certain style of therapy isn’t working, it is OK to let your therapist know. It’s their job to help find the right therapy to help you reach your goals.

Wishing you a wonderful journey of self exploration.

Validation

By: Jennifer Nunes, BA, BSW, MSW, RSW

Have you ever been fuming angry or terribly anxious and gone to a trusted friend or family member for support? You tell them what is bothering you and they quickly tell you all the things you can do to make the situation better. “I feel anxious about x, y, z” is often met with, “Let’s do some deep breathing. You need to go for a run. Just relax, it’ll all workout…” and so on. The good intentions of our loved ones can leave us feeling unheard and invalidated. Oftentimes we meet their solutions with anguish and frustration. On the other hand, how many times has someone you care about come to you to vent and your response is to offer suggestions, solutions and silver linings to their situation? We do it, A LOT.

The reality is, when we are in a state of stress, anxiety, sadness, overwhelm or anger, we do not need answers, we need validation. In these states of emotional unrest, the limbic system of the brain is firing. We lose the ability to easily access judgement and logical thought because we go into survival – fight, flight or freeze mode. When we vent to someone and they jump to problem solving they are not speaking to the limbic system. They are not speaking to emotion. They are focusing on problem solving a situation, and we cannot receive it.

When our loved ones hurt, we hurt. We want the pain and stress to go away. For generations we have been socialized to focus on problem solving as a way to combat this discomfort. What we now through more recent research is that we need to speak to the EMOTION. Validate the emotion. Show that we hear and understand the feelings being expressed. This allows the person in distress to feel validated. Validation sets up a chemical reaction in the brain to calm the limbic system, reengaging the connection between the logic and emotion sides of the brain.

The challenge here, is that it is uncomfortable to speak to emotion. Generally speaking, people have not been taught how to speak to emotions of others or how to validate properly.

Photo by **August de Richelieu** from **Pexels**

The next time you have a conversation with a loved one who is describing a problem or difficulty they are experiencing try this: JUST LISTEN. Don’t DO. Hear what they are saying and speak to the emotion they are describing. No need to fix it. Let them know they have been heard. One way is by saying, “Thank you for telling me. It makes sense you are feeling (emotion) because (reason) and because (reason) and because (reason). I can see this is really hard. I am here for you.”

In that excerpt above there is not one piece of advice. No promise that things will get better. No silver lining. It may feel uncomfortable to do this at first. It is hard to hold space that has negative emotion attached to it. In my personal and professional experience, the biggest concern typically is not the problem itself, it’s how the problem makes us feel.

To learn more about validation and emotion coaching I recommend checking out www.mentalhealthfoundations.org for excellent tips and resources on validation and other facets of Emotion Focused Family Therapy.

TIP: Don’t be afraid to tell those that you lean on for support how they can best support you. It is OK to say you don’t need advice, you need a listening ear and validation.

Until next time,

Jen

Positive Self Talk

I want you to do me a favour. Really quickly, say 3 things you love in your life. Right now. I’ll wait.

Now I’m curious… did you include yourself in that list? Self Love and positive self talk are often totally overlooked. I have heard countless clients talk about wanting to be better, feel better and do better in their life, and yet they spend time self deprecating and being critical of themself. People often personify mistakes saying things like, “I’m such an idiot” or “I’m awful at that”.

Positive psychology has found that people that are the happiest and most successful are those that speak positively to themselves. They engage in positive self-talk on a regular basis. They also focus on their effort more than their output. This might seem counter intuitive to what we are taught in society. Goal setting and attainment is often something that is highly encouraged. Heck, I LOVE a good goal setting session (I worked at Lululemon throughout university… IYKYK). The difference is that when goals are set, they are not always meant to be achieved. If we only consider a success a fully completed goal, we are short changing ourselves. Let me break it down.

Imagine you have a goal of starting a business. You set revenue targets, you have plans to hire staff, develop a system, policies, procedures, have a website built, the works. You want this done in 12 months. Goal set. S Fast forward to 12 months later. Maybe you hit 80% of your revenue goal. Maybe you’ve hired 1 staff instead of 2. You have a system in place, policies, procedures and a website, although you want to improve its efficacy. How do you respond? A lot of people say things like ,”I failed because I didn’t meet my revenue goal” or “I suck at keeping up with the blog.” This is negative self talk. Ignoring or minimizing all the major successes and wins and highlighting what came up short. They are a boss, they have created a system and a business in one year. They learned a TON. That’s huge.

One strategy I encourage people to try to increase positive self worth and self-esteem is to imagine their best friend, partner or other loved one is sitting beside them. Imagine this loved one is sharing the information I shared above about the past year. How would you respond to them?

I’m going to guess you do not turn to this person and say, “Wow… total fail.” Of course not. You’d cheer them on, support them. Remind them of all they HAVE achieved, rather than what they haven’t. It often seems easier to give positive talk to others than it is to ourselves.

Strategies to being more Self-Positive

The next time you look in the mirror, say 3 things you like about yourself. Do this daily.
The next time you are self deprecating. FORGIVE yourself. Give yourself a reminder that it’s a habit to be harsh.
Create a gratitude practice habit daily. Say 3 things you’re grateful for from that day.
Talk to yourself as if you’re talking to your best friend.

Until next time,

Jen

Gratitude and Mood

The world has never felt more divisive. There are wars going on in many countries. There is political unrest and divide at home and abroad. There is a very clear dichotomy that appears to be to be present for many people. Even myself, sitting at my table while writing this post. I am grateful that I have the safety and freedom to be able to do this, and at the same time I feel stress, anxiety and fear about the state of the world. These mixed emotions exist at the same time.

Gratitude is one of the basic facets of positive psychology. Research states that those that practice gratitude on a regular basis experience more happiness, better health outcomes and overall more success. But when things have been going wrong and the world has been

The dichotomy or plurality of truth is a concept in psychology that we often forget with the all or nothing thinking that comes with feeling anxious or stressed out. When acknowledging the plurality of truth, thoughts move from “Either/or” to “Both/and”. This allows for more than one viewpoint to be possible. For instance, it is possible to feel stuck at home (i.e. during the pandemic) and antsy, WHILE ALSO feeling grateful for the opportunity to slow down, spend time with kids, enjoy hobbies (old and new), catch up on domestic to do lists etc. Furthermore it’s possible to be BOTH grateful for the time at home with your children, AND also be desperately looking forward to having a break. It’s not all positive OR negative emotions, it’s about accepting and acknowledging both. We often get stuck in this or that style of thinking, but thoughts don’t work that way.

When acknowledging the two (or more) realities that are being endured I encourage you to appreciate the negative, acknowledge it, and then focus on the positive. This takes work, especially for those that have been in negative “thinking traps” (aka habits) for a long time. It takes a lot of effort for some to try to let go of the pieces of life that typically feel well controlled. It takes practice to move from negative to positive. And it is small steps that get us there, not giant leaps. This is where strategies like deep breathing and gratitude can help to change mood.

There is no better time to start a gratitude practice than now. Sometimes, I too need the reminder that there is beauty in the chaos. It’s a simple as 3 minutes (or less) a day. Before bed at night, write down or say audibly 3 things you are grateful for. It can be as simple as a warm cup of coffee (or even just a warm sip, if you got caught up in something and forgot about the rest… or is that just me?), being thankful for the pillow that lays under your head and provides comfort, being able to feel the sun on your skin while you went for a walk etc. It is possible to be grateful that you didn’t stub your toe on the bedpost, or lost your cool on your spouse or children for a day…heck on a particularly rough day, you can be grateful you got through it and it’s now over… you get the drift. Gratitude is not so much about WHAT you are grateful for, but rather is about focusing on the process of learning to scan our day of things that bring us joy and gratitude. It teaches the brain to do this so that over time, it becomes automatic. Do that daily and bam… you are practicing gratitude.

A gratitude practice creates a neurological shift in the brain. When we start or end the day with a positive reflection on things we are grateful for, we are more likely to see things that we are grateful for and appreciate throughout the day. This shift does not happen over night. It takes a period of practice, just like it does to build any habit. So if you’ve been in a negative space for a long time, don’t be discouraged if you try this and it isn’t successful immediately. A brain’s neurological pathways when repeated over and over become stronger and stronger, which means it takes longer to create new ones and replace those old ones. The good news is, change is possible, and happens all the time. It’s happening right now, while you read this post. And with that I will end with a message of thanks. Thanks for reading these posts, thanks for caring about yourself and those around you. Thanks for acknowledging the bad days and still getting up for the ones that follow. You’re the reason I write, and practice, and do all this. I am very grateful for you.

Take good care,

Jen