Finding Calm in the Chaos: Managing Anxiety in Times of Uncertainty

Ooof… things have been rough. There has been chaos, conflicting information on the news, and perhaps even big and differing opinions around the dinner table. News headlines focus on uncertainty and can be anxiety provoking. Many are feeling the heaviness of what is happening around us, and a lot have expressed a sensation of fear and helplessness to change any of it.

In times of uncertainty our brains perceive threat and will try to predict, with some level of certainty what will happen. This allows us to prepare for the possible outcomes and gives our brain a sense (albeit, false) of control. The sense of control or feeling of certainty lowers our anxiety and fear. When the outcome is very unpredictable, or the current situation is unstable and chaotic, the brain will identify this as a greater level of threat to safety, and it will work harder to try to understand and make sense of what is happening, and for the same reason. It needs to feel safe, and believes a sense of control will provide that. This may cause people to feel fatigued, overwhelmed, more emotional and less energized (https://www.anxietycanada.com/disorders/generalized-anxiety-disorder-in-adults/). That makes sense since our brain is doing a lot of work!

Photo by Leeloo The First: https://www.pexels.com/photo/question-marks-on-brown-surface-5428835/

The truth is… we have very little control over the vast majority of our lives. We do not get to determine what the weather is, current events, an acute health crisis (depending on the situation) or other people’s actions/in-actions. What we can do is focus on finding the light in our day. Reminding ourselves that there are a few things we are capable of doing, and we get to make a decision if we are willing to do them. Staying in the present moment, reminding ourselves to remain in our bodies is a way to remind our brains that although there is a lot we cannot predict “out there”, we are safe, even in the uncertainty, in our bodies.

Keep in mind when we are feeling dysregulated, fearful or nervous we are far more likely to have quick, knee jerk reactions to external stimuli. Whether it is other people’s remarks, news, social media etc. It’s important to note, that these reactions have little to do with the stimuli, and more to do with the emotional state we are in when receiving that stimuli (i.e. listening to the news when already feeling anxious and having a big reaction). We see this all the time. No one owns our emotions, and we are not responsible for anyone else’s.

Things to try to lower Fear Apprehension and Anxiety

  • Journal your thoughts and feelings. This is a form of externalization
  • Make a list of tasks you can accomplish in a day
  • Practice Deep diaphragmatic breathing (use a somatic technique like this one)
  • Remind yourself that feelings are not facts. They are like waves and will pass
  • Before responding to anything, take 3 deep breaths
  • Practice gratitude daily (Three things you’re grateful for from each day).
  • Speak to a licensed professional for therapeutic support as needed
  • Limit exposure to social media or news that is emotionally provoking
  • Practice Mindfulness or Meditation

Remember, we cannot control everything around us, but we can choose to practice compassion and kindness both with ourselves and others. Living in fear and apprehension is draining and causes fatigue, stress, anxiety etc. Choosing to find the light and joy within our day, scanning for positives around us can help.

Loving kindness does not hurt others. We can always choose to be kind to ourselves and those around us.

Take good care,

Jen

Building your Village

One of the habits of happiness as described by Sean Achor in his book the Happiness Advantage is investing in your social network. The phrase “it takes a village” is often referred to when talking about raising children; but what happens when we become adults? The truth is we need a village of support to get through any and all of life’s twists and turns. How do we build that village for ourselves?

Who is in “the Village”

A village is another way of describing a social community of support. It can include formal supports as well as informal. Most commonly people think of close friends and family as their village. But with today’s globalization it’s not uncommon to far away from our closest family. Sometimes we need to build a village that looks a little different than the ones from generations before us.

Photo by Dani Hart: https://www.pexels.com/photo/women-sitting-on-chairs-inside-a-room-3719037/

Villagers Can be…

  • Neighbours
  • Community Organization
  • Faith groups (i.e. church, meditation groups etc)
  • Friends
  • Team members (if involved in the education/health care system)
  • Colleagues

Studies have shown that when people are experiencing difficulties, they are most likely to overcome that adversity by asking for help and calling on their village than if they attempt to do it alone. This seems to fly in the face of many generations of “keep calm, carry on” or “suck it up” mentality. The truth is we are not an island. It takes a village to live a truly full and happy life, and sometimes, we need to build our own village in our lives. Humans are connected beings. We thrive when we feel connected. And sometimes, that connection takes work to develop and cultivate.

How to make Friends as an Adult?

Making sure we are connecting with others in a way that allows us to be authentically who we are. It can seem daunting to make friends when we are no longer in school or even working in an office 5 days a week. I suggest getting in your community. Going to walks, take a class, join a walking/run club in your community or other group that has a shared interest as you. This will allow you to be around people with a common interest and can boost your chances of connecting.

Not everyone will be our cup of tea, and we are not everyone’s cup either. Building self esteem and confidence in yourself can assist in helping to make steps to build relationships with others.

If this is something you are struggling with and want to learn more about what may be stopping you from building or sustaining new relationships, this can be addressed in therapy.

Take good care,

Jen

Healing Hurts

Starting therapy can feel scary or overwhelming. A client may want to understand and make sense of events or patterns that have been keeping them in a place they no longer wish to be in their life. It is the start of an incredible journey of learning, self exploration and development. Why then, do I say, healing hurts?

Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/brown-and-white-bear-plush-toy-42230/

Healing Hurts Because…

We hurt when we heal because we are removing the shield that we’ve developed to protect us for so long. We work to recognize our patterns, habits, filters in which we see the world and work to unlearn them. We begin to develop goals in line with how we WANT to live. In order to develop healthy habits, we sometimes need to process why and accept what we have been working hard to avoid throughout our life. We cannot do this unless we are prepared to get very honest with ourselves, and accept all the layers of emotions, even the painful ones. Our shield kept us safe from harm, but more often than not, it also prevented us from being able to experience joy, love, happiness and peace at a deep level.

Embrace the Mess

When on the therapy journey it is important to recognize that not every session will leave a client feeling lighter and more put together. Think of cleaning out your closet. First you have to empty all the contents and then you can organize and re-arrange. Have you ever looked at the room when you’ve taken all the contents of your closet and laid them out? If it’s anything like mine, it looks like a tornado ripped through the room. But as you start to put it back together you can make conscious decisions about where to put things, what to keep, what to give away, what to toss, it comes together. In the end the space is decluttered, and easier to navigate. Some see therapy as a similar process for the mind and body.

So although healing can hurt, it does not hurt forever. It is meant to be uncomfortable because that means the brain is learning something new. When new neurons fire together, they create new pathways. It may feel uncomfortable and foreign, and it should. That is learning. Instead of fearing or avoiding the discomfort, reminding oneself that the pain is there to teach us something can be helpful. The power of perspective is immensely helpful in the creating happiness and healing in our lives.

Whether you’re thinking about starting a therapy journey or looking to deepen your healing, don’t forget to give yourself compassion and grace. It’s about progress, not perfection!

Until next time,

Jen

Feeling Stuck?

In the New Year a lot of people set new goals and resolutions for themselves. In fact, as a clinician I highly encourage goal setting, anytime of year. The New Year often brings with it a fresh energy and new beginning which makes it a great time for people to start. So what do we do when we want to tackle lofty goals but we feel completely stuck?

Being stuck or moving more slowly than we desire can be frustrating. I appreciate the feeling. I often feel torn between wanting to pursue more lofty goals, and feeling fatigued and at times, borderline burnt out. I often have to ask myself am I just lazy or am I really tired?

If this sounds like you I want you to think of the following metaphor. Imagine a butterfly. Well first, imagine a caterpillar. They go through life and when they are ready for a big change, they build and move into their cocoon (or Pupa as my children have corrected me on). From the outside looking in, it is still. It looks like nothing is happening. But then, one day, the cocoon pupa starts to shake and rip and out comes a beautiful butterfly, ready to fly away and start a new chapter in it’s journey. Sometimes our “slow periods” (the times where we feel stuck and/or exhausted) are really times that we are preparing for a change. Maybe it is preparing for a mindset shift. Maybe we need some physical and emotional rest before we move forward. We are not stuck, but rather are in a period of transition.

Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-shot-of-a-common-blue-butterfly-71107/

This perspective shift follows the facet of positive psychology that speaks about the power of perspective and the importance of language. If we talk down to ourselves and say we are stuck, we will remain there. It sounds permanent and uncomfortable. If we mention that we are in a period of rest and transition, the energy shifts. There is a sense that this is not only temporary, it is necessary for further growth and development.

Try this perspective shift for yourself when working towards a goal and feeling stuck on it. Stop focusing on the end result. Focus on what you need in the moment. Maybe you can take a micro step. Maybe you need a day or two of nothing. Remind yourself that this season is temporary and give yourself the space to rest. Make a plan that includes rest and then start to move forward again… One step at a time.

You got this,

Jen

Intrusive Thoughts

The voice in our head is often innocent enough. Maybe we are preparing for a presentation, or going over the questions we don’t want to forget to ask at that up coming appointment. Perhaps we are wanting to have a serious conversation with a loved one and we are preparing and anticipating how it will go. What about when the thoughts illicit anxiety or even down right dread? Intrusive thoughts are involuntary, often unwanted and at times distressing thoughts that show up in a persons mind without any warning or known trigger. These thoughts can provoke anxiety or be very out of line with a persons typical train of thought. Intrusive thoughts are not intentional and they can be very hard to control.

Intrusive thoughts are pretty common and can happen to almost anyone. For majority of folks these thoughts are not long lasting and do not cause long term effects. In some cases, they can exacerbate symptoms of anxiety disorders such as OCD or PTSD.

Common Characteristics of Intrusive Thoughts

  • Unwanted: The thoughts are not usually chosen by the person thinking them.
  • Provoking: Intrusive Thoughts are often anxiety inducing and can be distressing. Intrusive thoughts often include thoughts or images of threaten safety of self or a loved one, fear of harm to self or others, or morally inappropriate things.
  • Repetitive: These thoughts are not one and done. They often repeat themselves, return out of no where and can become more pervasive over time.
  • Involuntary: These thoughts are not intentional. Typically they show up while a person is focusing on something unrelated. It’s important to note that a person experiencing intrusive thoughts does not WANT to be thinking about these uncomfortable or disturbing things.

What to do with Intrusive Thoughts

There is no one size fits all strategy to managing intrusive thoughts. I often ask clients to consider their current stress and anxiety levels. What is sleep like? Nutrition? Exercise? Work or School? We know if someone is burnt out, fatigued, experiencing higher than typical levels of stress, this can increase anxious thinking and intrusive thoughts. Some other strategies include:

  1. Radical Acceptance: As part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Radical acceptance is the practice of acknowledging when something is happening, even if we do not like it. Something like, “I recognize I’m having intrusive thoughts. These are rooted in anxiety. I feel very uncomfortable. I don’t like it, and I know I am still safe in this moment.” This strategy is one that requires practice and is often recommended to be done with the help of a licensed therapist.
  2. Mindfulness and Meditation: Bringing yourself back to the present moment. Adopting an meditation and/or mindfulness practice can help bring us out of our mind (thoughts) and back into our body. Do a quick 5 senses grounding for example. Think of 5 things you can see around you, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Notice what you’re feeling in your body. Notice how breath feelings going in and out of yourself. This not only helps the body and brain relax, but is a helpful distraction tool
  3. Positive Distraction: is engaging in an alternative activity that distracts you from the intrusive thought. Things like physical exercise, hobbies, other tasks that can help redirect our focus and attention from the intrusive thoughts.
  4. Self Care and Routine: This can help to mitigate stress and anxiety that often triggers anxious thinking and intrusivity.
  5. Journaling: Write it down. This externalizes the thought from our brain. When our eyes see it on paper it is a reminder that we will not forget, it is out of our body and can decrease the perceived amount of power it has.
  6. Seek professional Help: If intrusive thoughts are consistent and causing you distress it is a good idea to speak to a registered therapist that can help. It may be someone that is trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and/or Somatic Treatment techniques.

*** Please note this is educational information only and not a substitute for therapeutic intervention.*** We always recommend speaking with your health care professional for assistance in diagnosing and treating any distressing symptoms.

Take good care

Toxic Gratitude

With the holiday season upon us it is a season focused on love, connectedness and joy. Yet many during this time of year identify high levels of stress, overwhelm, grief or loneliness. A gratitude practice is a great tool to promote a positive mindset and increase happiness… As long as it does not become toxic.

How does Gratitude get Toxic?

Gratitude becomes toxic when it ignores the reality of negative things that happen in our lives. Similar to the practice to positivity, when gratitude is practiced in the absence of validation and radical acceptance, it can become toxic and lead to decreased wellness, increase symptoms of grief, trauma and other mental health disorders. 

What is gratitude fatigue?

When gratitude becomes toxic, fatigue sets in. It is a state of emotional exhaustion that often occurs when a person ignores important emotions like sadness, anger, stress.  If we avoid feeling emotions outside of thankfulness, we run the risk of increasing overall stress. We know that emotions have a somatic impact on the body. What we avoid in our mind will often come out in the physical self. 

Signs of Gratitude Fatigue

When the thought of practicing gratitude starts to feel burdensome, or heavy– this may be a sign of gratitude fatigue. Increases in stress responses like tension, pain, lack of patience, mental exhaustion are all signs of gratitude fatigue. Guilt and shame about not being able to feel gratitude is also a common secondary response.  It is important to check in with the self often to see if we are giving ourselves space to feel all emotions. Gratitude and validation. We can be grateful for something and grieving at the same time. We can be grateful for an experience and sad that it is over. Gratitude is not to be practiced in ISOLATION of other emotions, but rather, is encouraged to be practiced alongside it. 

Tips for Tackling Gratitude fatigue:

  • Acknowledge what hurts within us and notice where we feel it in the body. 
  • Thank ourselves to feeling, and validate all the emotions or sensations that come up. This itself could be something to be grateful for. 
  • If you find yourself unable to feel grateful for things, just acknowledge what IS. As simple as your breath, your heartbeat, your ability to be in that moment. There can be appreciation for things, even if there may not be gratitude. 
  • Practice self-care daily in whatever form is accessible to you (i.e. exercise, journaling, meditation and mindfulness, acts of kindness etc).
  • Set a timer to give yourself a specific space to sit with uncomfortable emotions. Do what you need to express those feelings of sadness, anguish, frustration. Cry, scream into a pillow, rage journal. When the timer goes off, take 10 deep breaths. Remind yourself that you’re safe and it is OK to feel those things, and still be grateful for aspects of your life. You’re allowed to feel both. People often need this reminder. 

When things are difficult, acknowledge the challenge and get curious about what is being learned. When you think back on a time in your life when you learned the most about your strength, resilience, abilities etc… it was not when things were easy. It was when things were hard. Challenge, loss, disappointment are difficult, and is an opportunity for growth and development.

Take good care,

Jen

Self Blame

Self blame is what happens when a person holds themself responsible for something negative that has happened, whether or not they are at fault. It often involves harsh self-judgement and criticism. Over time, this can contribute to low self esteem, low self-worth, depression and anxiety. Self-blame can start after personal failures, scenarios of rejection, traumatic events.

Breaking Down Self Blame

  • Thought Patterns: People who engage in self-blame often have distorted cognitive patterns. They may overgeneralize situations, highlight or overfocus on their mistakes and minimize or glass over their achievements.
  • Emotional Impact: Self blame can block resilience and personal growth. Blaming ones self can lead to range of negative emotions such as anxiety, depression and hopelessness.
  • A Form of Avoidance: Sometimes, self-blame masks deeper issues. It may help those that fear conflict avoid addressing external factors.
  • Coping Mechanism: Self-blame can be a way to regain a sense of control for some people. It may feel safer than confronting or even accepting external blame or conflict.
  • Motivation: On a bright note, when approached in a healthy and constructive way, self blame can be a motivator for positive change. It keeps people accountable and responsible for their actions.

How to Deal with Problematic Self Blame

  • Awareness: Noticing when you’re engaging in self-blame (or any cognitive distortion), is the first step toward change.
  • Self-Compassion and Forgiveness: Practicing self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding, rather than harsh judgement.
  • Reframing: Shifting focus from blaming to learning can help individuals see mistakes as opportunities for growth and development
  • Therapy: Talking to a mental health professional can help you become aware of the automatic thought patterns of self blame that may be keeping you stuck. Therapy can also help you develop strategies to manage self blame and learn healthier thought patterns and self-love behaviors. Click here to get started today!

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a very broad term used to describe symptoms of mild worry all the way to pure panic. It is the number one reason for referral at Nourished Soul Therapy. It is a term that gets thrown a lot around with or without a diagnosis. Today we will discuss what anxiety is, and what can be done about it.

What is Anxiety

Anxiety is the body’s natural response to stress. Anxiety often focuses on the future because it is frequently related to something bad that could happen. Anxiety is experienced on a continuum from slight worry to significant dread or panic. Not all anxiety is problematic. It is important to note that anxiety is a natural human response that has existed as a way to keep us safe from harm and danger.

How does Anxiety Work?

When faced with a real or perceived threat, the brain sends a signal to the body to react in order to stay alive. Hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are sent through the body to prepare it to respond to the threat. Responses could be fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Think back to the time of hunters and gatherers. If a bear approached a cave, a human had only a few choices to live. They could FIGHT the bear, RUN (flight) from the bear or play dead (FREEZE) in hopes that the bear would move on. These days the threats are often more psychological or social in nature. An upcoming medical test, a big presentation at work or school, a critically received text message or social media post are just a few examples.

Types of Anxiety

Anxiety is an umbrella term and is not something to be pathologized. When anxiety becomes so severe that it impedes on someone’s life it can become a diagnosable illness. Below are a few of the formal types of Anxiety that are diagnosable by a physician through testing and/or assessment.

  • General Anxiety Disorder: Persistent and consistent worry and/or dread about various aspects of one’s life. The worry is often disproportionate to the issue and very difficult for the person to control.
  • Phobias: An intense and often irrational fear to an object or situation such as spiders, heights or crowded places.
  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Characterized by persistent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) performed to reduce anxiety related to the obsessions.
  • Panic Disorder: Includes intense, quick onset periods of intense fear that are often paired with somatic symptoms such as shortness of breath, chest pain/tightness, shaking, sweating, feeling of impending doom etc.
  • Social Anxiety Disorder: This disorder is related to the intense fear of being judged negatively by others and fear of social situations.
  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): PTSD can develop after being exposed to a traumatic event. Symptoms include intrusive memories, flashbacks, severe anxiety, and avoidance of reminders of the trauma.

How to Treat Anxiety

  • Therapy: Working with a qualified therapist to address anxious patterns that have been developed as well as to develop tools to cope with anxiety. Therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Accelerated Resolution Therapy can be helpful in different ways to address symptoms and develop positive coping strategies.
  • Exercise: Physical Exercise is one way to reduce the amount of cortisol and adrenaline in the body while also producing endorphins, the feel good hormone. It can help reduce stress and anxiety in the body.
  • Lifestyle changes: A good sleep routine, healthy foods, movement all contribute to overall mental wellness and noticeably reduce anxiety.
  • Medication: Through consultation and advice of a medical professional medications used to treat anxiety are available

If anxiety is interfering with living a life you love it may be appropriate to consider working with a therapist and speaking with your primary care physician or nurse practitioner.

A New Way to Treat Trauma

Accelerated Resolution Therapy

What if there was a way to reduce flooding, overwhelming emotions, intrusive thoughts to move on from past hurts and blocks in your life. Now imagine it works in as little as one session. Accelerated Resolution Therapy is a new and innovative form of psychotherapy that uses bi-lateral eye movements to help clients quickly process traumatic experiences and other distressing symptoms. The creator, Laney Rozenweig is a licensed therapist and social worker from the USA who developed this therapy for use to treat PTSD in the early 2000’s.

Photo by Almada Studio

How ART Works

Similar to EMDR, Accelerated Resolution Therapy uses bi-lateral eye movements (similar to the type of eye movements that happen during the REM cycle of sleep) combined with guided imagery and some components of cognitive behavioral therapy to help clients quickly move past their negative and/or overwhelming symptoms and sensations to feel relief and hope.

One of the most incredible parts of this therapy is that it is fast. Clients notice a change in their symptoms in just a few sessions. Many clients state that they notice improvement after one session.

What to Expect with ART

ART sessions are typically 80 minutes in length. During an ART session, the therapist helps the client identify the specific memories or images causing distress that they wish to process. The client is then guided to hold those images in mind while simultaneously focusing on bilateral eye movements. This bilateral stimulation is thought to facilitate the processing of traumatic memories, making them less distressing over time. The therapist then helps the client to use guided imagery techniques to change negative images and create more positive ones in their place.

Who can BENEFIT from ART?

ART can be helpful for both adults and children. ART is known for its potential to achieve rapid results compared to traditional talk therapies. It aims to reduce symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and other trauma-related conditions. Many people find that they experience significant relief from symptoms after just a few sessions. Individuals living with PTSD, anxiety, phobias, complicated grief, depression and more can potentially benefit from ART. To learn more about ART book a free 15 minute consultation with our ART certified therapist here.

Can Any Therapist provide ART?

Therapists who practice ART must first complete specialized training and certification. This allows the clinician to practice specific techniques and learn the different protocols and their appropriate uses.

Research

ART is in it’s infancy in comparison to other forms of psychotherapy. It is evidence based and research continues to be done to prove it’s efficacy. Therapists, such as Jennifer Nunes are Nourished Soul Therapy, continue to report promising results in clients. Clients are encouraged to speak to their therapist about whether or not ART might be right for them.

Power of Play

Play is an internally motivated action or activity that cultivates joy, pleasure and fun. When children play it is often an opportunity for exploration, creativity and learning. Often play is associated with children. The concept of play is typically associated with children. Truthfully play is a healthy part of our development. In positive psychology, play helps to increase levels of joy, selfcare and love across the life course. Today’s blog is about the power of play in the development of a healthy mindset and how to add a little more play into your life.

Tapping into play within our adult lives allows the brain to make connections, harness creativity, release feel good hormones like dopamine and endorphins. It encourages connection and can energize. Physical play (like sport or physical games that involve movement) provide the same feel good hormones as exercise and can improve our mood and physical health.

Tips to Increase Playfulness

  • Try something New! Make a small change to your routine
  • Allow yourself time to be creative, daydream, and mindfulness
  • Surround yourself with playful people
  • Focus on the moment, try not to have a goal with play (Just enjoy)
  • Laugh as often as possible
  • Stop taking yourself so seriously
  • Change thought of play from “I have” to “I get” to engage in play
Photo by Savannah Dematteo

As adults we need to retrain our brains to learn to incorporate play in our daily lives. It can also be helpful in getting through difficult tasks that need to get done. Being able to smile and laugh at ourselves can build coping skills to help us manage through difficulty. Play is about building brain maps that help us develop a positive mindset and harness creativity. This can help us overcome challenge and increase happiness in our lives.

Have fun,

Jen